life = ?

So.........I'm pretty much bored w/ life and the pursuit of happiness. Not to sound depressing or Emo or whatever, but I've realized that life is just a sick joke! A (seemingly) endless series of boring and un-fulfilling relationships, conversations, and shitty jobs. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I decided to be born and go on living but it's gotta get better than this. Sometimes I ask myself, "so this is it huh?, this is what it's all about". Usually that question answers itself when I look at someone elses useless and mundane existence. I guess it's not so bad though. I'm breathing (through charred lungs that get blacker by the minute), I have friends (who are too caught up in their own home-made drama to give a fuck), I'm not gay, (but sometimes seriously consider wandering over to the dark-side every time another psychotic insanely jealous and/or skeezy ho-baggy female fucks up my head, tears my heart to pieces, and leaves me wanting to give up and just start shooting heroin or something)! But I continue to move on. I push forward w/ a head full of childish hopes and dreams. Quotes and melodies that keep me going day by day. I just hope that life after death is less like life and more like death!

The End ............for now. 

Silk and Sky

This is the story of the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end............Far too young, and in love, a bit self-concsious and eager to defy. Naive and delusional (I was indestructable). As always enthralled by beauty and the mystery of the unknown. We were bored and the two much older girls felt like devouring innocence. LIVE=EVIL-They came to us and asked, smiling and giggling, cute and tempting, of course I wanna try it!!! And I did. I loved that I wasn't me for hours thereafter. We were somewhere else. I inhaled this wonderful feeling over and over again. I was excited that my friends mother thought enough of me to share this wonderful ritual. Taking in the bright darkness of the night each time I inhaled. That darkness would never leave me. But I was higher than ever. Her eyes spoke to me and I wanted to finish what was left in that little glass pipe, for her. To show her that I could handle it. To express my appreciation for this "kind gesture". Her eyes told me to do it. But she wasn't finished. She wanted all my innocence. And she took it. Actually she made it very easy for me to give it away. She took me by the hand and led me to another room, shut the door, and locked it. Dark desire led her to me, virulence hidden behind her excited smile. I didn't know what to do, but she did.She swallowed me whole.Her mouth was like heaven. She showed me a brand new world. Un-charterd in my mind, and mapped by her hands. She guided my head, my face, my tongue, my mouth, as she drank every drop of my purity. Ingesting my curious carnal desire. She invoked it, so it could soak into her. She held my excitement in her hands,. Her nails dug into the back of my head as she pushed my face into her. Somehow my tongue knew all the right spots.I loved every second of it. I wonder how she feels about it today? So was she the cause or merely the first witness to the beginning of the end? Obsession and compulsion posessed me. A demon spawn was born, her selfish idea, the womb. I celebrated as if it were my birthday. It was really a funeral.............I was Eleven..............